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I want to fix this in my memory, forever

01 Sep

I’m sick. I’m really, really sick. I asked Nesko the other day what the day was because I was so sick and out of it I had no idea. That’s how sick I am. The only reason I haven’t fallen out of a window due to sickness is because my sister-in-law kept Niko over night Monday night.

We went to pick him up on Tuesday.

He was playing with a hose.

He was wearing one of those sun-proof shirts and his hair was soaking wet and plastered to his head and he was brandishing that hose, water spraying out of it, and he was laughing. He’d hold it up and the water would arc out like an umbrella. He’d spray himself in the face and sputter and laugh. He watered flowers and sprayed his tetka (aunt). He ran around and splashed in water and laughed and sprayed and splashed and laughed.

He is so full of life.

Yesterday evening he slid his feet into my flip flops. Although I’m an 8.5-9, my feet are really wide, so in order to get flip flops that fit I have to get a size 11 or 12. Which is ridiculous, yes. But he slipped his feet into a size 12 pair of women’s flip flops and shuffled around the house very well in them. Very well indeed. He lost interest by the time I grabbed my camera so there’s no video or photos of it. But he slid his feet right in and walked around with them. He knows what shoes are for. Even goofy flip flops.

He woke Nesko up the other morning by patting him on the shoulder. Nesko opened his eyes to see Niko’s face an inch from his. “HE’YO!” Niko greeted him.

I made Niko lunch today: chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs, frozen peas and carrots, cut up grapes, some ketchup. Niko makes elephant noises when he sees these chicken nuggets, and he bites their heads off first. He dunks them in ketchup and also eats the ketchup with a fork (uh… yuck?). He applauds when he gets food on the fork, then from the fork to his mouth. He knows he is hot shit.

Yesterday he took all the tupperware out of one drawer and put it in the empty drawer next to it.

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FOOD

31 Aug

I had an anxiety dream the other night that I was telling someone what I feed Niko, and the person rolled her eyes at me and took me to task for whatever I gave him. “I remember when you were pregnant you claimed you were only going to feed him organic, hand made, all natural, sparkle cookies. That didn’t last long.”

Ah ha ha… what?

Niko eats a wide variety of food, although far more fruits than veggies. And he only eats cheese at my in-laws’ for some reason, possibly because it’s hot and they have air conditioning so their cheese doesn’t sweat and get oily.

His protein mostly comes from (whole) milk (1-2 cups a day), cheese (when he eats it), yoghurt, eggs, chicken, and I try to feed him fish once a week or so but I really don’t like fish and have never been in the habit of eating it, so… we usually fail. It’s not uncommon for him to go a full day without eating meat, although he does eat animal products with almost every meal… milk, if nothing else.

Unless we are desperately in need of a store run, he eats at least two servings of fruit with each meal: apple sauce or chopped up apple, pear, grapes, mango, papaya, blueberries, plums, peaches, strawberries. Mandarin orange segments pass through him whole, as do raisins and most other dried fruit, he no longer is fond of cherries (which are kind of expensive, at least right now), and pineapple upsets his tummy.

I can usually convince him to eat at least a teeny bit of carrot, broccoli, green peas, or corn reliably. Corn… doesn’t get digested. Some days he eats all his veg and applauds himself, other days he just wants to feed it to me. I don’t offer veggies as much as I should. If I slice up a grape tomato he’ll eat one section.

He pretty much eats what we eat, including pizza (and if he sees a commercial on tv for pizza he goes “MMMMMMM” while pointing at the tv), pita with hummus, hot wings, butter chicken, persian dill rice, cevape, minestrone soup… the list goes on.

We are careful to avoid tree nuts and some fruits (including water melon) because Nesko and his family have allergies to them.

One of Niko’s favorite things is this cookie shaped like a pig that is made with molasses. I don’t know what it’s called, but I pick it up at the Guatemalan bakery around the corner from us. He eats the shit out of that pig.

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P p p p PRESCHOOL

26 Aug

I got all excited the other morning because I realized that Niko is going to be 2 years old by the time next school year rolls around. He could totally enter 2-year-old preschool! Or a head start program! I scuttled over to my computer and started looking for local schools that have 2 year old preschool programs.

They are all private schools.

Even public head start programs don’t seem to start until 3 years old.

DAMN.

IT.

I did find that we have some surprisingly good preforming schools in our general vicinity, including one well within walking distance. Chicago’s public schools kind of… suck. For a number of reasons, which I won’t go into here, but can I just say that it is utterly irrational that where you live/what your tax base is dictates the quality of education you will receive? If you live in a rural (lots of farms, thus little home taxes) or an urban (lots of rental units thus little home taxes) area you are fucked. If your community is poor, your school is poor, and you will not get the education you need to rise above your poverty and do better. It’s a sick trap and I do not understand it. We are One Nation, right? Indivisible? With Liberty and Justice for all… but some people get a little more Justice.

So, depending on how it continues performing, and how the other schools in the area perform, I already know which school I want to send Niko to. But I need some advice. Is it weird for someone who doesn’t have a kid enrolled in a school to attend the school council meetings? They have teacher representatives, parent representatives, and community representatives and they talk about school reform and say “everyone is welcome” but… I don’t know. Is it presumptuous to go? What if Niko winds up going to a different school after all? Am I over thinking this? (answer: probably)

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OMG it’s NURSERYMANIA

25 Aug

One of the things that bummed me out when I was pregnant, and when Niko was a newborn, is that I didn’t get to actively participate in the pornographic glut of OMG NURSERY PLANNING!!!!!EVLENTYTWELVE!!!!1! We were living in a 1 bedroom apartment, we KNEW it was temporary, and most of our stuff was still in boxes in the middle of the floor and it was awful and depressing and I felt like we were living in a filth hole the entire time.

In an ideal world, Nesko would have gotten a job managing the building and we would have moved into the pent house suite which had an elevator, and life would have been GOOD. I loved that location SO MUCH and would NOT mind moving back to Edgewater at all, even though the neighborhood used to be REALLY dicey, as evidenced by the four deadbolts and two chains on the front door, and our fridge which was labelled as property of the CHA.

Instead, we moved to a two flat that Nesko’s family owns, which is in Albany Park in a pretty cool neighborhood, and is way way bigger. Ironically, it had a big horrible leak in the ceiling JUST LIKE THE PREVIOUS PLACE, but this one has never dripped somebody else’s poop water on me while I was using the toilet, and also the leak was, you know, FIXED. Although our ceiling is currently still taped up green board that hasn’t been plastered or painted yet but WHATEVER, we are GETTING THERE. We moved here a year ago, when Niko was 5 months old, and it was such luxury to have a bedroom JUST FOR HIM, painted in colors FOR HIM, where we could put his stuff instead of tripping over it. He started sleeping a lot better in a crib in his own room, which meant WE started sleeping better as well.

I flirted with the idea of painting his room pale yellow and pale blue, to match this totally adorbs coat hook I got at a thrift store forever ago, which has 2 pale yellow stars and 2 pale blue moons. I kept half an eye out for coordinating rugs and bedding and stuff, but while at Babies R Us there were these canvas bins on sale for really cheap, and we got some that where green sage and some that were brown, and we painted his room to match. It looks really good, and there’s monkey-themed stuff that pretty much matches those colors, so it’s worked out well. But I dug out our paper towel holder this morning, and it was in a box with the star-and-moon hooks, and I felt a little nostalgic for the pale colored nursery that might have been.

I think the colors we picked will transition to childhood a bit better, though.

What’s that, you say? You want pictures?

Here you go!


You can see the bins– with his toys all put away– right here. You will notice, also, the toddler right there undoing the work I did. He’s great that way.


That’s a hand-embroidered wall hanging done by a friend of ours. It’s utterly, utterly awesome and so is she.

We got these vinyl wall decals (they peel off and reposition easily and aren’t STICKY thus can’t lose their stick) at Babies R Us. We don’t quite have enough of them, and I wish I could get JUST the circles. Niko points out the circles and calls them “buhbuh” (bubbles) and points at the monkeys and calls them “muhnmuhn” (“majmun,” which is Srpski for monkey). They are the first things he pointed at.

We got his crib used for something like $25. The woman selling it to us was worried that it was covered in teeth marks and nobody would want it. Niko has added his own teeth marks to it. Every time I see someone on Craigslist selling a used crib for $400, I want to reach through the screen and slap them senseless. The shelves full of toys were all book shelves we already had, most of them purchased used for $20 or so. They aren’t the best quality, but they should survive his childhood at least.

The dresser was free, as it belonged to my parents. It’s a really nice looking 3-drawer dresser that needs some work (the back of it is loose and the drawers stick a bit, totally fixable) with awesome pulls. The changing bad has a tacky bottom, and the cover just happens to match our green paint. The canvas bin at the end holds diapers, wipes, and jammies and keeps things both contained and out of Niko’s reach. If we put the wipes on the dresser top, he can reach them, pull them down, and pull each one out.

This hanging closet organizer will be totally useful when Niko stops pulling everything off of the hanging shelves. Until then, it’s good to have.

This hanging organizer is supposed to go over a door, but our apartment is ~~vintage~~ with ~~vintage~~ doors, which are apparently thicker than modern doors. So I wedged the hooks into a random piece of paneling in the closet. That’s not the point of this photo, though. No! The point is– what the hell, there is a window in the closet. Why is there a window in the closet? Oh, Chicago apartments. You so crazy.

Out of order, comes chaos.

Out of toddlers, comes chaos.

It took me about half an hour to pick up all his toys in here, the dining room, the kitchen, and the living room, and get them all put away. Nesko had him outside playing while I did this.

I don’t think I even need to say that it took him less than two minutes to undo all that I did.

LOOK UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR.

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It’s tearing us apaaaaaaaaaart!

24 Aug

Niko is still sleeping in our bed, which means I am tired as all heck. Tired I say! Which is why I haven’t posted in a while, although I was working on a post about local schools and how the public school situation where we live isn’t as dire as I feared, and then…. my computer crashed! HA!

Niko is still sleeping with us, and the absolute lowest point was when he literally shoved me out of bed and I woke up on the floor. Although the searing pain in my side/hip/back seems to be not related to clinging to the edge of the mattress, exhausted, but to my period because I’ve finished bleeding (mostly) and the pain is gone. Thanks, body. Always something new. You know all those magazines and websites that talk about getting your pre-baby body back?

It will never happen.

Pregnancy and birth change your body forever. It’s like strip mining. You can dump some dirt back on there and plop down a tree, but it’s not the same as it was.

Anyway, the second lowest point was when my darling, beloved husband told me that he would be spending the night at his parents’, so he could get an actual night of sleep. Isn’t that horrible? That is HORRIBLE. However, it’s also understandable because in addition to working 40+ hours a week at his “real” job, he’s also working with his dad rehabbing an apartment, which means that last week alone he spent like 30 hours doing that. Dude’s tired. I’m tired. We’re all tired, because Niko’s nap schedule is still off but we’re working on that.

Family bed: I hate it.

We have a tentative solution, though. Namely, a few years ago Nesko’s dad fell off a roof and broke… uh… his body. In the recovery, they rented a hospital bed (you know, it raises and lowers) and got an extra long twin mattress and set that up in the house. They returned the bed, but still have the very-lightly-used mattress. Tentative plan is to build a platform (with drawers! a teeny, low captain’s bed!) and set that bed up in Niko’s room, and at best one of us can soothe him to sleep (or near sleep) in his own big bed and he can escape it if he needs to… and at worst we can take turns sleeping without getting kicked in the kidneys by a baby. Or, his favorite thing to do to me, drumming his head or heels on my face/head.

Despite the kicking and thrashing, the Family Bed situation has taken a weird turn lately. What’s weirder than a grown-ass woman waking up on the floor in surprise? We used to tuck Niko in with his bear (medo), his blankie, and his pacifier (tutsula). Now we include a basketball.

No, no. Not a cute squeezy or plush basketball, a regulation sized basketball that you could dribble and shoot hoops with (were it filled with air). “Ball” is one of the words he has down 99% (“baaaaaaaaaaahl!”) and so he points to balls everywhere and gets super excited about them. He found this ball in our utility room and it was like he found, I don’t know, The Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich or something. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHL. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHL. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHL. BAHL!

He runs around holding it, saying “ball” reverently, lovingly, triumphantly depending on his mood. He cuddles it. He sits on it. He bounces on his stomach on it. He cradles it. He chucks it.

And he takes it to bed.

Because two adults and a squirming toddler weren’t too much for a full sized bed. We need a basketball in there to really make things cozy. And athletic.

IN OTHER NEWS, we’re pretty sure that instead of saying “what’s that” Niko’s saying “što je to,” only with all the clarity of a toddler, so only the “to” is clear. And the pointing.

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Rotisserie

12 Aug

Niko spent much of last night spinning around in bed. Just… rolling over, like a rotisserie chicken or a roller hot dog. Possibly he was winding himself up like a grandfather clock or a top or something. Or maybe he just needs to spin.

We spent some time today chilling in the bedroom, which has a window AC unit 1. He was in high spirits and jumped around a lot, tried to do somersaults 2, and spin around in circles while laughing. A lot. So much laughter! He’d spin and spin and spin until he got dizzy and fell over. And then he’d get up and spin and laugh some more.

It was hilarious.

At one point he dizzied himself up real good and fell down hard and hit his head on the floor. He was still laughing but he also wanted to cry because, duh, he hit his head! But he was laughing! And a little cry would slip out! Then more laughter! A little sob! Laughter! He eventually settled on just laughing, then got up and spun some more. Then he clambered up onto the bed and grabbed my nose in a death lock.

I don’t know what he has against my nose.

  1. We’re currently under a heat advisory; every summer, people in Chicago die of the heat. Conversely, every winter people in Chicago die of the cold.
  2. He’d essentially do downward facing dog, on his hands and feet, butt up in the air, head down. And then instead of just peeking through his legs he’d topple over to one side while he kicked his feet up. Which is how I do somersaults. Which is to say, poorly.
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The! Family! Bed!

11 Aug

Let me give you a snapshot of our current sleeping state of affairs.

I have taken to including in every email to friends an all-caps warning of IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO HAVE CHILDREN INVEST IN A BIG BED. A QUEEN AT LEAST. OR A KING. OR JUST CARPET YOUR FLOOR IN FUTONS. OH MY GOD JUST DON’T HAVE CHILDREN AT ALL.

The night before last, Niko didn’t just kick my head, he bored his head into Nesko’s side and drummed his heels repeatedly into my head.

I was too tired to move, and just lay there as his feet beat out a merry percussion.

If this were a James Thurber story, his feet would have gone “ta pocketa pocketa pocketa pocketa” etc.

Co-sleeping isn’t hugely working for us, and the main reason is that we have a small bed. We have a full sized bed. This was really good until recently, as most of our apartments wouldn’t have admitted a bed larger than full sized. What can I say? We live in an old town, in old buildings that were built before Queen-sized bed existed. In our apartment on Armitage, our full-sized bed barely fit into the bedroom at all. So we have a not very large bed, and it’s hot and humid and none of us want to touch each other, and we have a very active baby who is less than 3 feet tall and still manages to occupy most of the bed.

Also, he crawls around in his sleep.

He just… moves. A lot. Flops. Kicks. Wriggles. SIGHS LOUDLY LIKE OMG ARE THESE PEOPLE STILL IN BED WITH ME WHATEVER. Steals pillows. Shoves us. I mentioned the kicking? Sleeps sideways. Flips around and inches toward the foot of the bed. Shoves his head under the pillow I’m using. ALL THIS AND MORE.

There’s stuff I like about co-sleeping. He’s so cute when he sleeps! He giggles in his sleep! Sometimes he cuddles up to me and it’s adorable. (other times he thrusts my arm away, a frown appearing on his sleeping face) I know that he’s asleep, I know that he’s safe. I know that he’s breathing.

But I hate pretty much everything else, including the fact that I can’t just put him down to sleep and leave him.

And Nesko and I joked that Niko is simply doing his best to prevent any future siblings being conceived1. Ha ha! How witty! How droll! And then this morning I went to hug Nesko and Niko dashed over and shoved us apart.

  1. We have no plans to have another child right now, although we would like to in the near-ish future.
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Blogroll Updates

09 Aug

Hey, all. I updated my blogroll. It’s all the parenting/kid blogs I read that aren’t Live Journal type blogs. If you write a blog, drop a link in comments here so I can check it out! Sometimes reading what other parents are going through is the only thing keeping me from jumping out the window to escape.

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15 month check up

09 Aug

Ok, ok. Niko is almost 17 months old, so this check up was late. However, I wanted Nesko to go to the appointment with me, so we had to work around his schedule etc so it was pushed back a bit (although now that he’s working a different job, it’s much easier to get appointments he can make it to. we’re not limited to Saturdays only.).

We had a number of questions that were answered by our pediatrician, such as:

Q: His leg’s crooked. What’s up with that?
A: It’s normal. We’ll check it again when he’s 24 months old, but he seems fine.

Q: His toenails are weird. What’s up with that?
A: It’s normal. Cut his toenails straight across and don’t worry about them unless he injures them.

Q: Is it possible he has allergies? We both do. Can we give him Benedryl?
A: He probably will develop allergies; he probably doesn’t have them now. Have a prescription for allergy medication! Don’t use Benedryl until he’s older (I felt weird asking this and hoped she didn’t think I wanted to dope him sleepy with Benedryl type drugs. I joke about that, but wouldn’t actually do it.). No, there are no good cold remedies for toddlers.

Q: He isn’t sleeping.
A: That’s normal. HA HA SUCKERS!

Actually, our pediatrician is very kind and didn’t laugh at us, nor call us suckers. She recommended that we either take him into our bed with us and just get used to that as the new reality until he outgrows this stage, or else leave him to cry in his crib, checking on him as needed.

We tried that! It made me cry because I’m a huge softy! We are now co sleeping and OH GOD do I need to write a post on why co sleeping really isn’t for us. (I thought about leaving to sleep on the floor in his room, because his room is air conditioned and the living room, which has a couch, is hot and muggy.)

Niko is in the 50th percentile for height and slightly above that for weight (which is so odd to me, because he doesn’t seem to have much fat on him when I look at him, and I wonder if part of that is because we got home and he took a giant poo which weighed like 2 pounds. If he’d evacuated his bowels prior to being weighed, would it have made a difference?) and he still has a tiny head but he’s hitting his milestones so we’re not worried about that.

Niko got his vaccines, too. He got a combo for DTaP and Hib and, because I love my child soooo much, I talked the doctor into also giving him a Hep A shot. She asked in passing if we were planning on taking him over seas any time soon, and we aren’t, BUT my brother in law just got back from Montenegro and my sister in law’s boyfriend is visiting from there as well, and in retrospect? Our entire neighborhood has lots of truck with other countries. It’s a neighborhood of immigrants. And just as there’s pockets of TB in Chicago, I believe there’s also pockets of Hep A. (PLEASE NOTE: I’m not trying to say that, like, the people who live here are filthy immigrants or I live in mortal fear of Hep A or something. BUT. I have a toddler. He licks everything. That is how you get Hepatitis A: oral introduction from something contaminated with Hep A, a virus that can live outside the body basically FOREVER.) So: better safe than sorry. Niko was VERY INDIGNANT that he got stuck twice, but calmed down very quickly.

We were going to feed him tasty food at The Golden Nugget afterward, but that traitor fell asleep in his car seat; so we drove around a little bit instead, Nesko got a car part that we needed, and then we went home.

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Come Back!

07 Aug

Sooo apparently Niko is right around the age where separation anxiety really kicks in, including with regards to sleep.

On the advice of our pediatrician and some friends of ours who have kids and who nannied, we are trying to just stick it out, put him down, and let him cry. I mean, we go in there and say “It’s ok Niko. It’s time to sleep. We’ll see you in the morning. Good night.” But he’s been crying inconsolably for… a while now. I hate it. But I also hate being kicked all night.

Niko had a doctor’s visit today. I’ll post his stats tomorrow. I’m really tired now.

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