God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.

God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.

Sometimes I feel like I’m fucking up this whole parenting thing.

Niko is very, aggressively, brilliantly, loudly, ferociously, FOUR (and a half). He’s stubborn and loud and has been refusing to sleep in his own bed for the past six months or so, and has been acting out his frustrations of not having his tata around as much as he used to be with his new job and longer hours.

Today we hit the playground after school and Niko was trying to play with some bigger kids. They rebuffed him, kindly, and he was disappointed and kept trying to play with them. And then a big kid knocked over a two year old accidentally, and the little girl started crying, and Niko teleported over there to make goofy faces at her and dance until she stopped crying and started laughing.

He spent the next 15 minutes telling her “jokes” (NB: the jokes told by 4 year olds are comprehensible only to other 2-4 year olds), holding her hand, leading her up steps and across a shakey bridge, encouraging her to slide down a slide and be brave, and the like. The only reason he stopped was that her mama took her home. He followed her to the gate saying good bye, and then got distracted by a little baby and paused to coo over the baby and make faces and talk about how cute that baby was (IT WAS VERY CUTE).

If nothing else, we’re managing to raise a kid who’s kind and considerate toward other kids, especially kids younger and smaller than he is. And that’s something I’m so, so proud of. He’s a good kid with a big goofy smile and a huge heart. He’s very loving. It’s so great. HE is so great.

At least we’re doing something right, I guess.

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3 Responses

  1. Yeah. And like that. Beka is right on target or way out in front academically and socially, according to her teachers … is it bad that I obsess about how horrible she is at emotional regulation? Apparently, just how horrible she is at it AT HOME, because at school her teachers see no problem? I feel incompetent at parenting all the darn time but the results are fairly decent (to other people), so maybe I don’t need a DCFS visit to save my kid from me. :-/

  2. Yeah. And like that. Beka is right on target or way out in front academically and socially, according to her teachers … is it bad that I obsess about how horrible she is at emotional regulation? Apparently, just how horrible she is at it AT HOME, because at school her teachers see no problem? I feel incompetent at parenting all the darn time but the results are fairly decent (to other people), so maybe I don’t need a DCFS visit to save my kid from me. :-/

    Yeah. Niko has some anger management issues that we’ve been working on at home, and his teacher mentioned it as well. I think lack of sleep and stress are contributing to it. He’s a pretty chill dude in general but sometimes he just flips his shit.

    How did Beka do on her standardized test?