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The Blatherings Of A Blitherer

Donut adventures


I stopped at Dunkin Donuts on my way to my doctor’s appointment, and had the good fortune to be stuck in line behind a young couple who apparently had never been in a Dunkin Donuts before and didn’t know what exactly one does in a Dunkin Donuts but by GOD they had a gift card and they were going to use it. They sounded American when they talked, but the idea of “donuts” seemed to baffle them completely. They eventually settled on a pound bag of coffee, two cups of coffee in differing sizes and flavors, a donut, and a crooler. That’s how the woman said cruller. “Crooler.” “That crooler looks good. The flutey ridged thing. That’s a crooler, right? I’ve never had one. It’s so pretty.” Crooler. Then there was a problem with the gift card, and the coffee promotion which turned out to be error on the cashier’s part, who either didn’t speak English or else didn’t speak at all (mostly she just pointed at stuff and smiled. lots of gesturing going on.)

I forget why, but at some point Matt and Nesko and I were talking about eating food with forks. I think we started off talking about Pommes Frites and I said that one of Nesko’s aunts eats french fries with a fork. So Matt started listing off foods that one would eat with fingers, asking if it’s normal to eat them with forks in other countries. One of the foods was donuts. That’s a finger food, right? Like a muffin. Or a piece of bread. You wouldn’t dig into a muffin or piece of bread with a fork, would you? So Nesko talked about the Montenegrin version of donuts, which sound terrible and awesome all at once. Basically, they are carnival food. When you’re at the beach or whatever, you can get what are basically donut holes or mini donut balls that are fried fresh for you, and then dumped in a bowl and chocolate sauce is poured over them and I think he said sometimes whipped cream as well? It sounded like a sundae only instead of scoops of ice cream you got fried balls of dough. And it’s messy and you eat it with a fork. Vendors with carts sell these, because food from a cart is usually terrible and awesome all at once.

So it’s totally possible for someone to come from a place where donut shops don’t exist, and to be confused by the array of donuts (but no eclairs or danish or cake slices! what kind of bakery IS this?), but generally speaking not if you sound like you’re from Joliet.

posted under Chicago, Nesko

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