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The Blatherings Of A Blitherer

Basically I look like I have mange.


So basically I’m a hair beast, possibly descended from Victor Creed. My hair and nails both grow super fast and I have a lot of face and body hair. Like, my hairline meets my eyebrows at the temple. Like, I have hair on the inside of my forearm. Like, when I had a C-Section and an epidural a nurse was removing the tape holding the needle in place and commented that I was “really hairy. Like a bear!” and then she gave up removing the tape halfway through because it was just too hard or something. Shaving takes forever and also I get stubble within about an hour and a half because, again, mutant hair growing powers. So what I like to do is use a decent depilatory, preferably one that doesn’t smell like burning tires OR give me chemical burns. Bonus if it actually removes hair… I’ve yet to find one that actually works on my apparently industrial-strength facial hair.

Anyway, I was using Sally Hanson Brazilian Clay Spa whatever on my legs and I got a few dollops of it on my arms as well, and did not wipe it off in time. So now I have coin-sized patches of bald arm with other abundant hair kind of… combed over. You guys, I have comb overs on my arms, you guys. What the what! So now I’m weighing whether it’s worth taking the time and cost to do my arms/hands as well since I already have bald patches. I’m pretty lazy so I probably won’t.

But I thought you all might like to hear about what ridiculous thing I’m up to.

In other news it’s hot and terrible here which might be part of the reason I’m so eager to shed my winter coat. Send cool thoughts and maybe a living-room sized AC window unit my way, ok?



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