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The Blatherings Of A Blitherer

Weekend in Review, and a Request


My sister-in-law is getting married in October and her wedding shower was on Saturday. Internets, I dressed up. I wore makeup. I wore a skirt. I wore hose. I wore cute shoes. I wore jewelry and perfume. My mother-in-law came to pick me up and I scampered out, and just as I was about to get into her car I realized DUH I’d left the gift in the apartment. So I scampered back. And just as I reached the door, SEARING FUCKING PAIN KNIFED THROUGH MY FOOT OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLL.

I’d stepped on a screw.

The screw punctured my cute shoe, my hose, and the arch of my foot.

I hobbled inside and took stock.

The first thing I realized was that my shoe and hose were no longer wearable because they had holes punched through them and one of them was bloody. So I stripped them off and stood around with my hairy legs thinking what to do next. When I say I have hairy legs, I mean I could pass as a Satyr relatively easily. A female Satyr. Just give me some pan pipes and cute little horns on my head and drop me in a sylvan wilderness and I’m good to go. All methods of hair removal can trigger a skin condition I have where I just HA! HA! sprout abscesses for no discernible reason, so I pretty much go about hairy all the time. I had no other tights that would hide the hairiness of my legs. So! Skirts were out. I pulled it off and tossed it aside. Pants it was. But what pants? Every single pair of slacks I own are clownishly big on me, baggy and awful. I opted for black skinny jeans, black trouser socks, and a different pair of cute black shoes that pinched a little bit and had a slight heel.

I was really under dressed.

In retrospect, I should have put on a fancier shirt.

Or knocked over a bank so I could have bought actual party clothing that actually fit.

You know. One or the other.

About a month ago, a few days before we took Niko to “Day Out With Thomas,” I opened the freezer door and a pound of frozen, cooked ground beef in a hard plastic container came rocketing out and slammed into my big toe with such force that I spent several hours convinced it was broken. The bruise only cleared up a few days ago. I guess it was time for the other foot to be injured in a ridiculous and improbable manner right before a big event involving a lot of standing and walking.

I’m incredibly glad I got a DTaP booster in 2008. That’s something I don’t have to worry about. I’m also glad NIKO didn’t step on that screw, or that it didn’t end up in Nesko’s tire because new tires are really expensive and we already had to get new tires twice in a one month period because he picked up screws somewhere.

Anyway, here’s the request.

My sister-in-law is getting married, as I said, and is expecting about 200 guests at the reception and also about 40 at a pre-wedding event at her home. She will have a wedding cake, and has asked some family members (including me) to also bake desserts. So assuming ~250 eating ~3 servings each, that’s 750 servings.  I’m estimating she’ll have about 5 people baking which works out to about 150 items per person. Assuming that she wants fall-themed single-serving desserts, what would you recommend making?

I have some ideas on pinterest if you’d like to check them out and offer suggestions, advice, feedback, etc. I’ve baked off large batches of things before, mostly cookies and cupcakes, so I’m not overly awed by the scope of the project. Preferably, the things I make will be things I can make ahead (possibly freeze) and most of them won’t require refrigeration (although I might make 50 or so mini-cheesecakes). I could also just do 3 varieties of cupcakes with frosting roses or something. Oh, and I want to do at least one batch of things that is egg free, because at least one person there is allergic to eggs.

I haven’t sat down with my SIL yet to discuss her preferences.

posted under advice, baking, eating, food, life
2 Comments to

“Weekend in Review, and a Request”

  1. On September 10th, 2012 at 10:12 pm Trina Says:

    Dear Danger Brigid,
    I’m glad you still have at least 1 usable foot, the way you’re heading.
    You might want to get an idea from your SIL (Micki? Yekhi? totally spelled wrong…) how many servings she thinks is necessary. As you know I’m recently an old married lady. We had a decent sized wedding cake (think large single-layer round cake), berry pies, and these almond-raspberry bars. We had 50 people. The cake was nearly demolished and only a single small plate of the almond-raspberry bars were left. But we had 2 full pies left over (of 5 original pies) plus probably a plate of pie bits and pieces. Obviously the pie was not the winner. But my point here is that it’s never clear what desserts are going to get eaten or how much of them.
    I’d recommend you do something you think you make well, and something that can be small, esp. if there are a bunch of desserts and everyone will want multiple tastes. How about mini pumpkin muffins for a fall theme? Or I would consider doing candy for something different. Or how about those amazing turtle bars you used to make? Yum.

    good luck!
    miss you,

  2. On September 21st, 2012 at 7:50 am EmilyP Says:

    Pumpkin rolls! Tasty and pretty! I wonder if there’s a way to make a it somehow smaller, such that a slice is a dainty party serving instead of a normal-person serving? Eh, it’s an old post, she’s probably given you mega-instructions by now. Sorry to hear about your foot!