Words, words, words, art.

The Blatherings Of A Blitherer

This is how my day is going.


1:30 am: Go to bed
7:00 am: Wake up, Shower
7:45 am: Eat Breakfast
8:00 am: Give in to “please” and put Thomas and Friends on tv for THE BABY (he said please! how can I say no to that?)
8:15 am: Roust husband from bathroom for emergency toilet session (reason I was up so late)
8:25 am: Back to Thomas and Friends and the baby
9:20 am: Clear out bathroom
9:30 am: Father in Law comes over to tape and plaster bathroom ceiling (hooray!)
9:35 am: Husband takes over baby duties and I start working on worksheets/homework for the adult student I tutor (we are going on a 2 week break and want to keep her fresh and sharp on what she’s learned)
9:50 am: Finish first work sheet, go to print
9:55 am: Oh yeah, need to plug the printer in because FOR SOME REASON when it’s plugged in the computer won’t boot up.
10:00 am: Frustration and wasted paper begin
10:05 am: Check printer settings
10:10 am: Print test page via printer
10:02 am: SUCCESS
10:05 am: Print work sheet
10:08 am: FUCK YOU waste 3 more sheets of paper
10:10 am: Search for missing drivers.
10:15 am: Cuss out Clear internet and the slow as all fuck internet connection we have today
10:25 am: Start downloading new drivers. Why is this such a large file? OH GOD.
11:30 am: Go down with the baby for a nap
12:25 pm: Manage to slip out of bed without waking the baby, make lunch for Husband
12:30 pm: Husband leaves for work, I install new drivers.
1:00 pm: ha ha ha ha ha no. Printer keeps acting like the letter sized paper is photo sized paper.
1:05 pm: I double check printer settings
1:10 pm: Maybe the problem is Open Office? I start a google document
1:20 pm: Finish editing google doc, hit print
1:25 pm: WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS. Only the top 4 inches of the page is printed on
1:30 pm: I check printer settings. Again.
1:35 pm: Print?
1:36 pm: FUCK YOU.
1:40 pm: Check the printer’s diagnostic
2:00 pm: print test page via computer
2:02 pm: FAIL
2:05 pm: Open WordPad
2:10 pm: Print from WordPad
2:12 pm: Apologize to the Earth for wasting so much of her precious resources in the form of wasted paper, as a one page document prints out over 10 pages of 2 lines each
2:15 pm: Cuss
2:20 pm: Check printer’s settings AGAIN
2:22 pm: Check printer’s advanced settings
2:25 pm: Cuss again
2:30 pm: Send file to friend, who prints it via google docs with no issue, and offers to create a JPG of the text file because maybe THAT will print
2:35 pm: Decline said offer because what the shit, why is this not printing, I need to make like 10 different work sheets and really this should only have taken ten minutes and it’s now after 2:00 and I need to leave in a few hours and FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK YOU HP SERIOUSLY WHAT THE GOD DAMNED HELL
2:40 pm: Get a drink of water
2:45 pm: Google Reader
2:50 pm: Check printer settings AGAIN
2:55 pm: Print?
3:00 pm: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *clutch hair, wail at sky*
3:02 pm: Baby’s awake
3:15 pm: In-laws come to pick baby up
3:20 pm: google search “fuck you hp”
3:30 pm: Start blog post
3:35 pm: plug mp3 player in to load up with music to listen to while I trek over to the community center, worksheet-less
3:40 pm: Contemplate writing worksheets out by hand
3:45 pm: decide to never buy another hp product again, and return this piece of crap printer as soon as possible

This is damn plug and play printer. There is absolutely no reason that I should be having this much trouble getting it to work. I’m not an idiot. I’ve been using computers and printers since the early 1990s. I have successfully set up and used numerous printers for my personal use as well as installed and trouble shot printers in school and the work place. THIS IS BULLSHIT. A task that should have taken an hour at the most– and that includes actually putting the worksheets together– has literally consumed MY ENTIRE DAY. And, now, I will not be able to fulfill a promise to my student. How awesome is that? IT IS NOT AWESOME AT ALL.

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This just may save your life


Ok, maybe it won’t save your life but it may save you some frustration.

I had a problem with my computer this weekend, where I could use google chat and iTunes and Yahoo Music Jukebox with no problem, but I could not use any browsers. Firefox and IE both would launch, and then would search and search and search and not connect and time out. I tried many things to resolve this, but here’s what worked:

I went to the start menu, picked “run,” and typed ipconfig /flushdns and hit enter. Then I restarted my computer.

Voila! Problem solved!

This solution is courtesy of Matt.

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