Words, words, words, art.

The Blatherings Of A Blitherer

WWJD?

December23

Dear Sir:

I notice that you have “WWJD,” or “What Would Jesus Do” emblazoned in very large font across your back.

Due to the vast span of time between Jesus and ourselves, as well as the corruption in his recorded words and deeds, it is hard to say exactly what Jesus would do, although we can hazard a pretty good guess.

I can say with some certainty, however, that Jesus would probably NOT whip his dick out and urinate in public.

Just a hunch.

posted under Chicago, religion, stuff | Comments Off on WWJD?

Oh, hey, “The View;” your ignorance is showing

May28

Since having a baby I’ve spent a LOT more time watching really damn boring and frequently offensive daytime tv. I was watching “The View” today while cuddling a very cranky post-vaccine baby when Justin Long came on as guest to promote his new movie “Drag me to Hell.” “Drag me to Hell” is a simply HILARIOUS movie about a woman who is cursed by a disgusting, toothless, greedy Gypsy. Oh ho ho! Those Gypsies! They are almost human! Look at how ugly and backwards they are, tossing about their magical demonic curses! In fact, they are so non-human that most reviews don’t even bother to capitalize the “G” in “Gypsy.” Well, you know. It’s not like gypsies can READ or anything. Well, anything other than chicken entrails. HAW HAW HAW it sure is fun to mock a frequently maligned minority and set them up as the constant villain! Then, of course, there’s also the question of why Long was featured as a guest since apparently he does next to nothing in the movie.

While interviewing him, someone (Whoopi?) asked if he believed in curses. He says that no, of course not, he doesn’t! But he was raised Catholic (lolcatholiclol) and they have ALL SORTS of curses! Uh… what? Seriously? What flavor of Catholicism would that be? Because I was raised Roman Catholic, went to religious schools and everything, and I don’t remember any mention of curses. I have to admit, that caught me by surprise; I was waiting for some cannibalism or vampire joke (loltransubstantiationlol) so the whole “hot bed of curses” allegation really came out of left field.

Of course none of this was questioned. Because Gypsies aren’t a real group of people; they are fantasy caricatures who toss off curses left and right and are non-Christian and animalistic and ugly and thus it’s totally valid to have them be the odious villain. And I’m not trying to claim that Catholics are sooooo discriminated against, OMG you guys, you just don’t UNDERSTAND what it’s like to be a persecuted religious minority! But seriously. Curses? I don’t really get people who mock Catholicism in that way (because dudes, there is so much that deserves deriding). I would never ever EVER make fun of Judaism or Islam or most sects of Christianity and claim they are all about the curses and crazy times. But then, maybe I’m just classier than a gaggle of douchebags on tv.

Oh, that’s scary.

posted under religion, review, social responsibility, TV | Comments Off on Oh, hey, “The View;” your ignorance is showing

Hello

March9

It’s been CRAZY BUSY around here lately so I haven’t been posting much, even though I’ve had posts rattling around in my head including a bit about Midwestern Hospitality and the urge to feed people until they explode.

Nesko and I went to Church yesterday, at the Serbian Orthodox Church he goes to for Easter and Christmas and no other time. Part of the service was intensely and incredibly familiar, even though it was in a different language. Other parts were really strange and outright foreign. I was most weirded out by possibly the most innocuous difference. I don’t know if I’m going to blog about it because there’s a very good chance I’ll sound like a jerk or something. I tend to be flippant, and it’s really easy for flippancy about religious worship to be taken the wrong way. Or to, you know, be a jerk about it. One of the hardest things for me was that I’m very used to Catholic Churches having misselettes with “The Order of the Mass” in it, which outlines what’s happening when, what you’re supposed to say, and how you’re supposed to act (IE sit, stand, kneel, cross yourself, etc). I couldn’t find that anywhere, although it might have been in Serbian and I just missed it. So I was very clueless as to what was going on (most of the service was in Serbian as well; there’s normally an English service at 9:30, this was Serbian with a little English mixed in) and that always bothers me.

We plan to go next Sunday as well. I’ve visited the church’s webpage and they have a huge community with a lot of stuff going on… folklore classes, Serbian language classes, a really kickin’ choir, job networking. Nesko’s sister sings in the choir and has invited him to join; I’ve been bugging him to do so for MONTHS now.

It’s kind of weird how not involved in his religion he is. Growing up, I went to Mass every single Sunday, First Friday in grade school, Holy Day of Obligation, etc. It was such a huge part of life, and intimately familiar. And then he and I go to the Church he thinks of as his Church and he doesn’t really know what’s going on or why. I mean, he’s not stupid, but it isn’t as much a part of his life as religion was mine.

If anyone knows anything about the Order of Service for Eastern Orthodox Liturgical Services (specifically Serbian Orthodox) please let me know or point me where I can find it. I’m mostly finding stuff about Greek Orthodox Wedding and Funeral services.

In other news, we still have a huge hole in our bathroom ceiling and the weather out here is going fucking insane. It’s warm! It rains! It’s cold again! Whoop, now it’s warm! Ha ha, spring is here! Wait! Now it’s cold! Who wants snow?

posted under marriage, Orthodox, religion | Comments Off on Hello