Words, words, words, art.

The Blatherings Of A Blitherer

Measuring out years one Star Wars movie at a time.

December28

The last time I posted it was about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We’ve had two more Star Wars movies since then, Rogue One and The Last Jedi, as well as the tv show Rebels continuing. They’re all… really good. They’re what I wanted as a kid teen reading the Expanded Universe books.

The problem with a lapse in blog posting is that it’s easy to get hung up on that. “Oh, I haven’t posted in so long” becomes a shameful thing… for some people, at least. For me, at least.

So here I am breaking the seal on more blog posts. Maybe. Will I jump back in the saddle, so to speak? Leap back onto the keyboard? Who can say. I’ll try to do better, though.

31 Day of Horror: “The Conjuring”

October3

“The Conjuring” is a horror movie ostensibly based on real events as witnessed by famous charlatans Ed and Lorraine Warren.

In the movie, The Perron family purchases and moves into a run-down fairly isolated farm house in Rhode Island. The family dog refuses to enter the home, and doesn’t survive the first night. Creepy noises and events soon become commonplace and they discover a boarded-up door to the cellar. Mom Carolyn wakes up covered in bruises, and daughter Cindy starts sleep walking again and also seeing ghosts. The parents contact the Warrens, who make their living giving university talks about demons and ghosts and stuff and selling books about their totally made up and in no way fake adventures. They come out and affirm that up, there’s totally demons afoot, or at least one demon. The movie is very eager to paint the Warrens as kind and concerned individuals who dismiss most claims of demonic/ghostly activity as cranky plumbing or what have you instead of people who, for instance, convinced a mentally ill man who killed someone to plead “not guilty due to demonic possession” instead of “not guilty due to mental illness.” So the Warrens pop up there and set up some cameras and what not and shit eventually gets real. The family flees to a hotel to spend the night and laments that they ever bought the house. They can’t afford to move someplace else. Don’t fret, the Warrens console them, the demon would just follow you anyway. You can totally tell by all the upside down satanic crucifixes everywhere (never mind that “upside down” crucifixes are also known as St Peter’s Cross and an actual thing).

Said demon has its hooks deeply in mom Carolyn and she drags two of the daughters (they have 5 daughters) back to the home to murder them. The house is a hot spot of murder and suicide, dating back to the time a young witch pretended to be a normal woman named Bathsheba, gave birth, and then murdered her child as an offering to Satan, which is something that women who’ve just given birth do ALL THE TIME. As proof of her evil witchy ways, she’s cited as the sister of Mary Eastey, an actual person who was executed for witch craft in Salem but later exonerated and money given to her family. She had two sisters named Rebecca and Sarah. Mary, Rebecca, Sarah… Bathsheba?

The Warrens head back to the house and Ed Warren decides that even though Catholic Lay People are prohibited from performing exorcisms (as are most Catholic clergy… only specially trained exorcists are permitted to do the deed), he’s SPECIAL and it’s URGENT so he does some kind of half-assed made-for-movies exorcism. The visual effects are mostly practical, not CGI, and are very well done… there’s a chilling bit where Carolyn has a sheet around her head and we can see it huffing and moving and soaking with blood. The fact that we can’t see details is chilling.

I’m irritated that the Warrens are getting more fame/money from this movie. Other than that, though, it’s a good movie… and the Catholic bits aren’t as ignorant and ridiculous as they are in some movies (“Stigmata” I am looking at you). The acting was top notch, the creepy bits with the clapping game were great, it’s a pretty well crafted movie.

What can we learn from this movie:

  • Dolls are creepy as fuck, stop it.
  • Don’t go house hunting without your dog. Dog won’t go in the house? Don’t buy it.
  • If you find a boarded up door, there’s a reason for that. Leave it alone.
  • Old farm houses are apparently riddled with secret passages or something?
  • Women just go all witchy and kills babies at the drop of a hat like constantly.
  • It’s totally safe and a good idea to keep a room full of demon-possessed souvenirs in the same house your small child lives in.
  • Random small town priests can quickly and easily call the Vatican to expedite exorcism requests when they mention ~ED WARREN~.
  • We all need to stop buying dilapidated old farm houses in the woods like yesterday. Just stop it.

I give this movie 3 out of 5 stars.

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Basically I look like I have mange.

June19

So basically I’m a hair beast, possibly descended from Victor Creed. My hair and nails both grow super fast and I have a lot of face and body hair. Like, my hairline meets my eyebrows at the temple. Like, I have hair on the inside of my forearm. Like, when I had a C-Section and an epidural a nurse was removing the tape holding the needle in place and commented that I was “really hairy. Like a bear!” and then she gave up removing the tape halfway through because it was just too hard or something. Shaving takes forever and also I get stubble within about an hour and a half because, again, mutant hair growing powers. So what I like to do is use a decent depilatory, preferably one that doesn’t smell like burning tires OR give me chemical burns. Bonus if it actually removes hair… I’ve yet to find one that actually works on my apparently industrial-strength facial hair.

Anyway, I was using Sally Hanson Brazilian Clay Spa whatever on my legs and I got a few dollops of it on my arms as well, and did not wipe it off in time. So now I have coin-sized patches of bald arm with other abundant hair kind of… combed over. You guys, I have comb overs on my arms, you guys. What the what! So now I’m weighing whether it’s worth taking the time and cost to do my arms/hands as well since I already have bald patches. I’m pretty lazy so I probably won’t.

But I thought you all might like to hear about what ridiculous thing I’m up to.

In other news it’s hot and terrible here which might be part of the reason I’m so eager to shed my winter coat. Send cool thoughts and maybe a living-room sized AC window unit my way, ok?

 

 

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If I could set things on fire with my mind right now, I would.

April16

For those of you who don’t know, I like to cook, and I’m pretty decent at it. I have a stack of increasingly gross, damp, sticky, flour-y printed-out recipes on my counter, and I wanted to put together a nice binder with my most frequently used and favorite recipes in it… including my mom’s spanikopita recipe, handed down to her from a woman from Greece.

I’ve spent the last damn half hour trying to print a cover for the binder.

I’m fairly certain the problem is my printer, which is an HP Photosmart Plus. Every single time —every. single. time.— I try to print something, I run into a fun new problem. Like, it won’t print PDFs. Or, it kind of will, but only half way, and there’s like a random stripe that it won’t print. What’s that you say? Update my drivers? Ha ha ha! It is to laugh! OF COURSE I HAVE.

I can’t leave it plugged in via USB cord, because if I turn off my computer and turn it on again, the computer tries to boot from the USB! If my computer goes to sleep while the printer’s plugged in, my keyboard stops working! Isn’t that fun and great and fantastic?

Frequently, when I try to print, it prints nothing but the first 1/3 of an inch of the page. Or just gibberish.

And apparently, it won’t print images. Or, rather, it will, but only in some arbitrary small size. The printer automatically resizes images to fit onto small photo paper despite the dimensions the actual image actually has, and there seems to be no way to over ride this.

Isn’t that great? Isn’t that useful? Isn’t that exactly not what I want to do?

I tried printing via email, and the size was correct, but it would ONLY print on photo paper which means I wasted a photo paper (why don’t I just set some money on fire?). When we removed all the photo paper, it wouldn’t print at all. Ha ha ha ha ha! Why on EARTH would ANYONE want to print a .jpg on ordinary paper? That’s just TERRIBLY HILARIOUS, isn’t it? I’m laughing so hard at the idea I’m about to puke!

And the best thing, the absolute best thing, about this printer? You’ll like this. No, you’ll love this. I know I do! It has a scanner built into it. And if it runs out of ink or the ink expires? You can’t use the printer at all for anything! Including to scan, a function which requires no ink at all!

Isn’t that great?

Wow! I’m so glad this piece of “technology” came into my life!

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When you think you’re saying what everyone’s thinking…

March29

This is just a reminder than when you THINK you’re “just saying what everyone’s thinking,” you’re probably only saying what people like you are thinking. Which, if you’re in the majority and/or a position of authority, means that the people surrounding you are thinking it, saying it, doing it, and passing laws about it. And “it,” whatever “it” is, is very possibly hurting other people.

And sometimes what you think everyone else is thinking is thrust into an audience larger than the one you normally surround yourself with, and you wind up with hostile reactions to your TOTALLY hilarious rants about women, Native Americans, Gay people, Asian/Pacific Islander students or whatever else, and you find that no, not everyone enjoys spreading around harmful stereotypes and hate.

So, you know. Maybe think about what you’re doing and whether your totally hip and edgy humor is actually challenging anything or just rehashing the same old crap and actively doing harm to people who aren’t you.

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MISSING Chicago Teen, Brianna Lacey, 15

December21

Brianna Lacey, 15, is missing. She is also known to go by the name of Brianna Wright. She was last seen Friday, December 18, 2009 leaving for school from her home in the vicinity of 80th Street and Eberhart and heading to Longwood Academy located at 95th Street and Throop, according to the Chicago Police Department.

Brianna is described as a African-American, 5 ft. 4 inches tall, weighing 110 lbs., with brown hair, brown eyes, and a fair complexion. She also has pierced ears. She was last seen wearing a navy blue polo shirt, navy blue sweater, gray pants, and a brown coat. She had on black gym shoes, as well. According to police, she frequents the area near her home, as well as the area near 105th Street and Yates in Chicago, Illinois.

Anyone with information on her whereabouts is asked to contact Chicago Police Area Two Detective Division Special Victims Unit at (312) 747-8274.

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quick update

October16

I haven’t posted anything recently because I’m baby wrangling pretty much 24/7 which makes it hard to get things done (I took a shower at 3am this morning because he woke up and then I couldn’t get back to sleep and hey, why not). I also am still overwhelmed and stressed out by this whole “moving” thing. We’re STILL painting and unpacking and there’s roaches (although less, way less) and mice (we are poisoning the hell out of them) and the washing machine gets machine oil on everything and the dryer isn’t vented right and the heat crapped out and and and… and I don’t want to just put up whiny complaint after whiny complaint so I’ve been quiet over here.

I was also working up a post about vaccines and why they are important but I just got so pissed off doing the research for it. I might post “best of” comments from anti-vax folks online.

Here’s what it boils down to. There are diseases that used to be endemic in the USA that killed or crippled kids and adults. It was not uncommon for a disease like, say, diphtheria to sweep through and kill 6 kids and a parent in one fell swoop. Over the years scientists have been developing vaccines that prevent this sort of thing from happening.

Once upon a time, most deadly childhood diseases in the USA and England were really rare, as a result of the vaccines. But now some people who don’t really understand “science” or “cause and effect” or “correlation” or “hypothesis” or… a whole lot of stuff… are convinced that vaccines are evil. And they’re using fear and over statements and lies to get other people afraid of them (note that a lot of the folks doing this who aren’t parents have products to sell… expensive dietary supplements made mainly of water, or chelation therapies that can be deadly, whatever) so they won’t vaccinate their kids. And now measles is once again endemic in the UK and certain parts of the USA.

Which means that kids are getting sick and dying from child hood diseases that they shouldn’t have gotten in the first place.

And that’s sad and that’s wrong. I had a rough few months at my second to last job because someone didn’t vaccinate their kids, their kids got whooping cough, the parents got whooping cough and passed it on to people in THEIR office, and THEY passed it on to THEIR loved ones, including people in MY office. Did you know that you can literally break your ribs while coughing with whooping cough? You can. And it can lost for months. Literally, months. Polio doesn’t always kill, nor does it always land the afflicted in an iron lung. Which leads some people to argue that Polio is a “mild” disease which shouldn’t be inoculated against. But Polio CAN cripple people, leaving them unable to walk or use their arms. And decades down the road, whether they’ve regained the use of their limbs/back again after years of excruciating physical therapy or not, they can then expect post-Polio syndrome which is constant terrible pain. Fun, huh?

If you doubt the efficacy of vaccines, go to an old graveyard and look at the number of tiny headstones for babies and children whose lives were cut tragically short. They didn’t all die from neglect and drowning. They died of measles, they died of diphtheria, they died of polio, they died of rotavirus, they died of smallpox, they died of childhood illnesses many people now deny the lethality of. They died in vast numbers. When a kid dies, people speak about the dramatic perversion of nature, about how awful it is when a child dies before its parent, when a parent has to put a child into the ground. But until relatively recently that was an all too common occurrence.

Vaccines save lives. They save the lives of those who have been vaccinated, and they save the lives of those who cannot be vaccinated for legitimate medical reasons (age, allergy, immune system issues).

Autism, a genetic disorder, has been proven to be not linked with vaccines. This is a fact. This is a true thing. And even if vaccines did cause Autism, I’d rather have a living child with Autism than a dead child.

Quick Update

July11

Had 2nd root canal today. Need 2 crowns (one for each root canal). Need to double check– is this dentist covered by my insurance (which covers crowns but not root canals, durr durr durr) and if not make appt someplace else for crowns. Took vicodin for post dental pain. It’s not TOO bad but makes me want to clench my teeth/apply counter pressure which is OH HO HO A BAD IDEA.

Have been listening to much Electric Six the past few days. Just in a mood. Need energetic, peppy music that doesn’t take itself seriously.

Am job hunting. Again. Craigslist job listings are lollarious. I should post some examples. Do you know that some places accept applications from both Women and Men? AMAZING!

Want to go to the beach tomorrow, and then to a mini Greek fest. There is dancing. I would like to see the dancing. I would like to swim in the lake.

We gave Nick a bath tonight. He hated it with the hatred of a thousand burning suns. And us. He hated us too. Then we put clothes back on him and All Was Forgiven. I think he needs more naked time. He spent a good 15 minutes laughing at Nesko’s face. I got a chunk of that on camera. Just need to find a way to get the footage off the tape and onto the computerbox. I think there’s a cord someplace that allows this…

I love White Castle cheeseburgers. If you ever wondered how classy I am, that is your answer right there. I AM CLASSY WITH A K, Y’ALL. I have 2 packages of White Castle cheeseburgers in my freezer right now. Ok. 1 1/2 packages. FUCK YOU I LOVE THEM.

While waiting to meet someone I outlined several stories that have been languishing in my head. Got some clarity. Refined some ideas & concepts. Am pleased.

I am going to bed now. Catch you all later. Will try and write a Baby Post on the Baby Blog tomorrow. Have been busy cleaning, sorting through our immense piles of crap, and packing.

Have a potential Good Thing on the horizon WRT both work and housing both. Wish us luck, ok?

zzzz.

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MORE GRIPPING ADVENTURES IN SHORTNESS

May15

I was talking about some of my thrift-store finds with my mom, and mentioned that I’d gotten a pair of capris and a pair of too-long jeans that I might cut capri length.

She advised me against capri length pants, on account of they might make my legs look short.

Look. I’m 5’2″. Short of strapping on stilts, there’s no way of making my legs look not short.

That’s just… how I am. Short an’ stumpy.

The length of my pants doesn’t affect that in any way.

crosspost test

May12

crosspost test

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